Life as Kleenex

There is nothing in the world quite as useful as kleenex. Those tissues, known by brand name the world over, hold truth and meaning in a small cardboard box.

Sneezes, coughs, and sniffles are made more genteel and polite with the use of a simple square of kleenex. Tears are dried and fears are calmed. Sometimes a kleenex is only held, giving our hands something to do when there is nothing we can do. Other times its utility is more direct; a smudge on glasses removed, a bit of dirt cleaned (sometimes with the aid of the greatest cleaning agents known to man - mom spit).

But at the end of all these trials, once the cold is gone, the bloody nose stopped, the tears dried or the spot removed, the kleenex's greatest attribute is discovered. It is disposable. Unlike old fashioned hankies or shirt sleeves, once their usefulness has finished the kleenex is no more. It is thrown away and life moves on.

How many other things in life are like kleenex? So multi-purpose and important, yet utterly disposable and individually forgettable. How many people in our lives are human kleenex?

I realize in saying this I may sound dismissive of the value of human life and the sacred nature within each of us. That is not my intention. Instead, think about this: how many of your elementary school teachers can you name? Classmates? How many are you in contact with now?

Those formative years, spending 6+ hours a day in the same room, doing the same thing as 30 other people, and how many of them do we remember?

What about at church? How many Sunday School teachers do you remember? It is not names that are important, nor are faces or pictures. Experiences, emotions, lessons learned stick with us; but oftentimes the purveyor of the lesson is forgotten. I admit I have a terrible memory for names and faces and details, so maybe this is just me, but I doubt it.

When "doing" youth and children's ministry there is such a focus lately on relationships and individuals that I think we're missing the point of ministry - it is not about us. The first time someone looked me in the eye and in all earnestness said "Caren, it's not about you" - took my breath away. I haven't forgotten it. (I only vaguely remember who that was, too.) As youth ministers we only see these kids for a few hours a week, if we're lucky we get to see them on a day other than Sunday. We come into their lives for a season, when we fit and are needed, then, like kleenex full of snot and tears and dirt and found somewhere at the bottom of a purse, our usefulness ended, are discarded.

There is nothing - NOTHING - wrong with us or our ministry when this happens. In fact, it means we're doing something right. Who wants to hang onto a disgusting, old, holey, lint-covered kleenex? Who needs to remain tied to a ministry they have long-since grown out of?

A few of the youth I thought I had the biggest impact on, the ones whose names and faces I vividly remember... I've lost contact with them. If it weren't for Facebook, I wouldn't know where they were at all. Does this invalidate what I did? What I've done? What I am currently doing? No. Not at all. In fact, it means I did something right.